_{^{~Groovin' With Soccamom~}}

Things are beginning to look up for me. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and the silver lining beyond the dark clouds...feel free to insert your own cliche here, but I believe you get my drift, Snowflake.

For weeks I have felt like one of those cartoon characters that walk around with a dark cloud literally covering their head. I was letting myself get sucked into that vortex of listlessness and dispair. It seemed like I had let myself wander into this murky bog and the more I listed my failures; my shortcomings and my flaws the deeper I sunk.

I would sit and think about the weight I've gained and think about the unused, dusty treadmill just sitting there waiting to be utilized and feel even more tired. But as I've stated, the visit with the doctor seemed to really light a fire under my ass. Some of the things regarding exercise, I knew already, I just needed a nonjudgemental, nonbiased person to reiterate it to me. I also know myself well enough to realize that although I may feel inspired to join a gym or an exercise class, I am not far enough along in my journey to do so.

Thus, I hopped on the treadmill. Walking, walking. The first few times were satisfying, but not too challenging, and not too inspiring. I'd gotten a workout, but didn't really feel like I had hit my stride yet. I've been trying different motivational methods and I've finally hit upon a formula that works for me. I have the diskman with the headphones on, some carefully chosen music, stare at the blank TV and away I go! I've found that I cant really watch tv because I cant be made aware of the passage of time...I dont want to follow a storyline when I cant really hear it anyway. The blank screen gives me a focal point where I can lose myself in the music and in my thoughts. Before I know it I've hit my zone and am feeling soooo good.

I love being in that zone. The breathing becomes less labored and although you can feel the burn in your lungs, it becomes a welcomed guest rather than a struggle. The sweat has broken out and you feel not only the individual rivulets coursing down your head, neck, torso, and legs but you also feel the aura of the heat that emanates from your body. I love being there.

Today I got called to work so I had to postpone my walk till this evening. I was amazed that I thougt about the coming work out all day and actually looked forward to the time this evening when I could hop on and literally work on walking my ass off. I did end up missing my Denise Austin work out, but I had considered taking today off from her anyway, so it was ok. I had forgotten how much I liked her tape and how good it and she made me feel. She is so upbeat and friendly that I really feel good working out to that tape.

This past week was my placebo week on my old pills and tonight is the first night I start on my new rx. I'm hoping that these will do the trick, but at the back of my mind I admit to believing that my new sense of well being will dictate my state of being even more than the new rx. We'll see.
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