It is about me:
clickMy Bloginality is INFJ
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This birthday seems bittersweet. Today marks the official first day of adulthood. Grown-up-ness. For years I know she has envisioned this night to be a limo driven bar crawl with friends rather than a quiet dinner for four with her boyfriend and her parents.
She has been my grown-up little girl for a while now. She has a good job, a great car and a good income for a person her age. And now she has a little one of her own on the way.
I know that despite any and all of my maternal shortcomings along the way she has made it through some trials of her own and come out the other side the better for it.
Happy Birth-day to us.
I saw something on my walk this evening that really disturbed me. I wasn't even sure that my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. I saw it, walked past it, walked back and took a closer look. I wish I hadn't. I wish I had been able to convince myself to keep walking at a brisk pace and let my mind wander until the impression vanished.
It was a cherry or similar fruit that grows on the blossoming trees along my street. The cherry was in the mouth of a turtle. A turtle whose body was missing. Obviously the littering of beer cans (cheap beer) along the street, a turtle head and neck and no body tell a story of downright cruelty. Who could do that? Why?
I walked on. Every car that passed, I imagined held a miscreant turtle torturer. This car, carrying a passenger drinking from a can...will the can be hurled from the window at me? Why not? Why?
Would I arrive home to find grafitti all over the house? Is this town hiding the likes of other torturers? The truth is, probably so.
My solitary thoughts run wild while I ride that train from one thought to the next. I get to a stopping point and retrace my steps. The places in between are lost.
I can't belive this blog is still out on the internets. I haven't posted here in three years, not that I haven't written posts in my head, but I just haven't transcribed them.
In truth, I assumed this blog was still out there, but knew I just didn't have the heart to update it. Silent Shouts? WTF was I thinking? Groovin with Soccamom. Heh. There's nothing groovy here and I haven't been a soccermom for what? two? three years? I've tied my identity to mom-ness and rarely written about it. I've tied my identity to something I've outgrown but carried the moniker to email, twitter and who knows what else. Is it possible to be just me? Who am I or rather, what part of who I am do I want to reveal?
Should I reinvent myself or just reveal the self I am or should I shed this blog like a snakeskin and move on?
I don't know.
I admit it, I read Houssie's post the other day, even though I tried to convince myself that I didn't. (Cubs fans and others will understand how aware of curses I am.) I stayed up later than I had originally planned last night because I just couldn't let go of the euphoria. I had to stop myself from hopping in the car and driving to Grant Park just to hug someone. Just to be there. Just to be. I wanted to hear the speeches. I wanted to share in the joy. I wanted to share in the tears. Tears of joy. Tears of hope. I've not dared to hope for so long that I didn't want the feeling to end.
Kevin and I went to the polls together yesterday. I waited till after work. The feeling of anticipation was with me the entire day and I could hardly wait to get home and go hand in hand to the polls. It was momentous. When they say stand up and be counted I could really see that in action. Kevin turned 50 years old this year. This year, for the first time in his life, Kevin registered to vote and voted. He voted. He counted. For the first time since i was two and a half months old, Indiana went "blue" and foted Democrat.
Last night when I finally came to bed, Kevin asked why I was waiting up so long. I told him I was listening to my President speak. This morning he noted that he'd never heard me refer to a president as "my president."
Of course.
Determined to be lazy come hell or high water, I jumped back into bed and willed myself to fall asleep. No go. So, still vowing to not. do. anything. today I turned on the TV and settled in for a little mindless diversion. I watched an hour of Princess of Thieves with Kiera Knightly, the last 30 minutes of Ocean's Thirteen and most of The Jane Austen Book Club (which I loved) before deciding that maaaaybe since conditions were ideal, I could do a little cleaning.
Ideal conditions mean that no one is home, there is very little chance that anyone would call and I had a full charge on my phone, which is also my mp3 player. Some major tunes and a pot of coffee later I find that I've cleaned all three bathrooms including tubs, sinks, toilets, walls, floors and baseboards, vaccumed every room of the house, including stairs, swept and mopped all other floors, cleaned the woodwork around the front door and windows, done 2 loads of laundry and also cleaned, purged and filed every piece of paper in or near my office including all old files, and dusted every dustable surface.
Tomorrow if conditions are still good, I should finish the laundry, clean the aquarium and possibly tackle Kevin's office. I'm assuming now that since I actually plan to do those things that very few of them will actually get accomplished.
Horrid, if you don't like snow. And I don't. Here's something better. Undercover brother tried to get these to me before Vday, but because of the snow, the delivery was delayed till today. Still, they look beautiful. (clicky to biggie)
In the meantime, I contented myself with a new pair of moc-croc slingbacks. Happy, happy piggies.
On Sunday, which was xmas eve, I went with Undercover Brother to his dad's place. Not really ever a fun trip, but I'd have to say but I'd have to say this time was actually ok. Certainly bearable, which is more that we ever expect. Miss Boo, had been invited to spend the day with Boyfriend's family, fortuitously getting her off the hook from visiting Big J. I've known UB's dad for about 8 years now and each year he says the same thing, "I didn't get out to the store this year, so I just gave you money so you can get what you want." Heh. I get a kick out of him saying that because he so believes that it's different than any other year. It's always the same total amounts, too, except that this year my check was $5 less and Miss Boo's was $5 more. Evil daughter-in-law or whatever. Since Miss Boo wasn't along this time, she sent a nice thank you note which thrilled Big J to the brink of tears. I guess she earned her extra five spot.
Monday. I had my morning scheduled to the minute. I like it when things flow the way I've anticipated. I'm anal that way. So. We got up and opened our presents. UB and I have had some challenges to over come in buying for each other. This year, like many others, UB ordered what he wanted and told me about it.
(Not exactly, this one, but you get the point.)
I wanted more of a surprise but not too much of one, so I gave him a list-a Word document with hyperlinks and instructions NOT to buy everything on the list. Believe me, that's way better that's way better than our first xmas together when he bought me four or five sexy lingerie items from Victoria's Secret. Most didn't fit my modest girls and had to be boxed for exchange. Unfortunately that box was a little too near the xmas trash and was pitched along with the contents. This year, I was the proud recipient of peace sign earrings and a Skagen watch . Good job, UB!
Being a little ahead of schedule, I opted to shower before prepping the turkey and popping it in the oven. Out of hte shower, dressed, not makeup yet and still working on my hair, I hear UB saying, "My mom's here. She just pulled in the driveway." Nearly two hours early. Yikes.
UB was tasked with entertaining his vivacious mother while I finished getting ready, got the turkey in and set out some little nibblies. Eventually even UB began pacing to the front door willing my parents to arrive soon. I was never so glad to see my parents, too.
Dinner turned out to be wonderful and my cranberry chutney was a hit. Even UB who had flat out told me he wouldn't even try it, ended up trying it and liking it...just like Mikey. Ha!
The presents were a trip. My parents, of course, gave cash and this year Miss Boo got five times what we got. Kids. For some reason UB's mom gave some really strange gifts. I mean really, next year when we say really, don't get us anything...we'll mean it. UB and Boo both got identical clock radios, and I got two shiteously ugly, too big Sag Harbor sweaters. Sag. Harbor. One was pepto pink and the other was purple on purple polka dots. I didn't get a picture of them but I did show the girls at work who said, "Hasn't she ever seen the way you dress?" Apparently not. Fortunately, I go to a retirement community/nursing facility twice a week for work, and I was able to
All in all, a nice day, though. Parents came, food and company was enjoyed, and parents left. Miss Boo was a joy and when Boyfriend called and invited her for xmas evening at his grandparents, we didn't feel badly letting her go. She did her family time. And yeah, she came home with a card and cash from Boyfriend's grandparents, too. Seriously, people LOVE Miss Boo and that is truly a blessing. She's really a good kid, kind of quiet, very polite, yadda yadda. I think that's what made December 26 such a horrible day...
to be continued...